Amazing Grace
by Ro Nordmann
Summary: Katniss finds love and redemption in the most unlikely place. Submission for Prompts in Panem: Day 5 ModernEverlark (2012)


_**Amazing Grace**_

**Summary**: Katniss finds love and redemption in the most unlikely place.

For Prompts in Panem: Day 5 - 2012 [ModernEverlark]

A/N: Dedicated to my sister-wife, **TLCullen132**

**Disclaimer**: _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended._

:::

**2012**

Eleven years had gone by, and still the pain inside my soul was as vivid. Death and tragedy lives forever within those whom survive it. That dark day in our recent history, marks the start of a downward spiral of anger and despair. It reminds me not of a terrorist attack that cost the lives of thousands of people, but the death of my family.

Today, I was right here where all this anguish had begun, where so many had died. The sound of the waterfalls bring tranquility to this chaotic monster of metropolis; an ever-present symbol that we will never forget the people who perished. It was a paradoxical feeling.

The reflecting pools were surrounded by the names of the departed...I squeezed my eyes closed. I felt overwhelmed, knowing this was the last memorial to their lives. Once I'd find their names, my father and sister, I hoped I was strong enough.

I have stopped living in the past, and standing in the light of a new day. I was fortunate to have one more day, free to live while others couldn't. I was blessed to see this memorial, in honor of those I had lost. It was a new day.

:::

**2002**

No one could explain or justify the acts of deranged fundamentalists. It was even less possible to expect my grief-stricken mother to heal with the balm of time. She only lasted a few weeks after it became obvious that my father and sister were not among the survivors.

So there I was a ward of the state, with nowhere to go, and no one to care for. It was only a matter of time until I would find an excuse to end my life. But life has a way to lead you, to steer your steps into redemption. It didn't mean I would go along without a fight.

"Miss Everdeen! You have a visitor, a Mr. Mellark. It seems it is part of your treatment, he's come by request from your guardian, Mr. Abernathy. It means you need to show yourself, young lady."

I was tempted to curse her out of my face, but Effie was a stickler for the rules and propriety. It was pointless to fight the system. I would smile when proper and say thank you, and that would be it. My "rehabilitation" was never to come, for I had not desire to change or conform. My life was what it was, and my anger was my own, it was the only driving force that kept me from giving up completely.

The guard opened the gate and I was left on my own with a young man. I knew I wasn't really alone, as there were cameras always watching. It was simply a miracle that I wasn't charged an adult, but my mitigating circumstances sent me to a juvenile detention facility. My crime was taking out my rage on a Muslim, as I screamed and kicked him into unconsciousness, blaming him for my father and sister's death.

As I entered the designated room, the blonde and blue-eyed boy stood abruptly.

"Miss Katniss Everdeen? I'm Peter Mellark. Well my Muslim name is _Ayyash_, but you can call me Peeta-"

"A Muslim name?"

"Y-yes, I'm Muslim...your case worker Mr. Abernathy thought it would be good for you to become familiar with a Muslim. To help you see we are not hateful people...that we should not be condemn in full because of the actions of a minority."

I was completely confused. I mean...he didn't look Arabic. How could he be a Muslim?

"I see that you are baffled. I had the opportunity to visit and experience Islam as an outsider. It wasn't easy or well received. In the end I became one more, a child of the faith, a believer of Allah has my one true god."

"B-but how could you! They condone violence and killing against those that are not of their faith. They hate Americans, and you are an American! Its like treason!"

His blue eyes wouldn't deviate from watching my agitated movements. It was unnerving to be under his scrutiny. I wanted to punch his superiority and righteousness.

"Are you done?"

My labored breathing was the only sound in the room. I was sure my face was reddened by my outburst. And it was I who averted her eyes from his.

"I know you feel entitled for your hate, for your actions. But can you really say it was right to beat an innocent man for the atrocities perpetrated by other men? Men who are the shame of Islam. They are responsible for how Americans negatively perceive Islam. If you allow me to speak of my faith, I will."

I locked my eyes with his, I could see he wanted to do good. But I felt it was useless, it had no bearing on my life. What could he say that would change what had been done to my family? It wouldn't bring my father and sister...Prim deserved to live. She had a bright future ahead of her. She wanted to be a doctor, to help sick children. What did she do in her short life to call for such a fate? She was an innocent child.

Tears welled, and tried to clear them away. It wouldn't do if I cried in front of this stranger.

"If you must come, then do what you have to. I do want to warn you, it won't mean a thing in the end. I will not feel remorse over my actions."

His expression looked forlorn, and I was sure he felt defeated.

"I will see you next Saturday, Miss Katniss."

:::

"You are not going to talk to me today. I guess I'll have to speak to the air for an hour."

I continued to pick on my nails, as he wasn't there. I was still astonished he hadn't mentioned my black eye and the stitches on my brow. One of the other girls decided I had it too good in here. Johanna Mason is known for her viciousness, and it's rumored she murdered her whole family. Personally I don't believe it. In the end, we both gave all our best, and she's sporting marks on her face and body that account I'm no coward.

"Aren't you going to ask?"

I was bored after ten minutes straight of silence.

"Are you willing to confide in me?"

I shrugged, showing it wasn't really important, but it was better than just staring into space.

"It was a bully. She thinks she's hot stuff. I showed her good that I'm not to be fucked with."

I could see that this man was uncomfortable with cursing. It just begged to be tested.

"You don't curse right? It's like forbidden or something?"

He took a deep breath, as if talking to me was a great task. In retrospect, I was really a disrespectful bitch.

"Miss Kat-"

"Call me Katniss, mister..."

"You can call me Peeta. It was my nickname."

"When you first came here, you said your name was Peter Mellark, but you also said another name..."

He smiled, and nodded.

"My Muslim name is _Ayyash_, it means bread seller. Once I embraced Islam, I was reborn with a new name."

I scrunched my face. Bread seller?

"Bread seller? Not something more meaningful like hope, or peace."

He laughed, which was shocking how it relaxed my posture. He didn't feel threatened by inquiry, he was totally amused by my questions.

"It is literally my profession. I make bread for a living, Katniss. Only now I feed everyone, including those that can't monetarily pay for it. It is my good deed to show mercy and charity to my fellow man, whether he shares my beliefs."

"It would make you a sucker. How do you know when they are lying to you?"

"It is not my place to judge the misdeed of others. They will have to face the Day of Judgement when it comes."

I stared at this man, full of convictions and beliefs. It was clear his way of thinking was directed by his faith. A faith I thought to be evil, and at fault of my family's demise.

"Does it mean you'll be judged on that day? Will I be judge on that day? Do you think I'll go to the Hell and you'll have a direct ticket to Heaven?"

"We can repent, ask for forgiveness. It is possible to change your life and being anew."

"FORGIVENESS? Do you really believe the terrorist deserve forgiveness? Weren't they told they would get a bountiful reward for killing Americans?"

The glass was tapped by the guard, alerting me to calm down. I glared at her, knowing she would blab about, it resulting in the removal of privileges; no going outside for a week.

"Shit."

Peeta grimaced and shook his head. I saw he was ready to leave the room.

"I'm sorry. It's just I'll be punished for that outburst. I do want answer, though."

"_Jihad_ doesn't mean "holy war". The Qur'an does not command Muslim to declare war on other nations, races or religions. Jihad means to strive to become a better person and the betterment of our society. To embrace the good, and resist sin; to instill equality and respect. As for the "war" part, it is against tyranny and oppression without forgetting the sanctity of life, protecting the innocent and our environment. As for the men responsible for 9/11, they didn't follow the real teachings of Islam, therefore they have committed major sins that prescribe severe punishments."

Without being conscious about it, my hands had found Peeta's. I was squeezing them hard, as tears fell down my cheeks.

"Time's up."

He slowly let them go, and stood. Suddenly, I didn't want him to leave.

"Don't worry, Katniss. I'll be back next week, try to stay out of trouble. I see why Mr. Abernathy worries so much about. Y-you are so...easy to care for. See you Saturday."

:::

And that's how it went, every Saturday I would get a visit of Mr. Mellark. I really didn't know for how long, but he faithful came. His smile was like fresh air, I didn't know I was missing. I stopped the silent treatment by the third visit, wanting to know more about him, even if it was about his faith. It related to everything it seemed, he lived and breathed Islam. How he had to pray five times a day which is called _Salah_, to worship God and ask for guidance to stay in the rightful path. It is a practice that shows Allah's precedence over everything else, submitting to His will.

His faith required discipline, and total devotion. It was something I had never seen or experienced. I had been brought up a Christian, and it had never seemed this intense and life altering.

"Is your family Muslim?"

"No. To be truthful, it caused a riff with my family. My mother no longer speaks with me, for her I don't exist and not to be mentioned in her presence. As for my father, it is his consolation that I'm a baker. My brothers, they don't understand how I've changed. I'm sure they would tell you, they feel betrayed."

"Why did you choose to convert?"

"I was lost, jaded with no real path to follow. I had thought good looks and being popular was all there was to life. That was until something happened. This event was the turning point. It was my choice to keep on or change course. A tragedy had to happen to open my eyes. It is something you need to experience on your own, to find God's love and forgiveness. It took me to find Islam. It could be a total different path for you, Katniss. I can't convince you, I can only testify of His love."

I felt his touch on my hand, he had taken it in his. It was so different from the time I had held his. I knew I was blushing. I heard him clear his throat, and drop my hand. My eyes looked up, and I saw he was embarrassed it wasn't like him to start something physical. I was sure it was against some law or something.

"Excuse my conduct, Katniss."

"S'okay. Are you married, Peeta?"

My face was burning, it wasn't like me to ask such questions.

He chuckled.

"No, I'm not."

I don't know why I did it, but I just blurted it out.

"It was a girl. She died and you felt responsible. It is why you are alone, and try to atone by doing good deeds."

I covered my mouth, knowing I had made a mistake.

"I have to go..."

For two Saturdays he didn't come, and I felt shameful.

:::

"I-"

"I would-"

We gave each other smiles, but they were not our usual.

"I'm sorry, Peeta. It wasn't right of me to say that. You have been sincere and patient with me. I don't want to be ungrateful for your time."

He held his hand to stop me, and I complied.

"I want to apologize for my absence these past two weeks. I've reflected on our talks. I think it is time I tell you about the reason my life changed completely. In return I want you to tell about Prim. Do you think its fair?"

He must have heard my audible gasp. He wanted to hear about Prim. I didn't know if I was ready to talk about her. I'd always felt she was mine to keep, as if talking about her to others was like losing bits and pieces of my memories of her. Not even Mr. Abernathy had pried into my past.

I shakily nodded my acquiescence.

"When I was in high school, I met a girl. She was the most popular girl, and every guy in school wanted to be with her. A stroke of luck had me giving her a lift one afternoon, when her car didn't start. We talked, and we had a great time. She wanted to go out with me, and I accepted. What I didn't know was that my actions were hurting my best friend. Delly had been my friend since we were little kids, and for me she was like my sister. I was completely oblivious to her romantic feelings towards me. She believed we would end up together and marry, have a life together. She had it all built inside her mind. In my wooing of Bristel I tried every stupid thing a teenager does: drugs, sex and delinquent behavior. All of it without knowing I was breaking my best friend's heart. It was moment's mistake, a single flick of a switch that cost me her life. I was drunk and high when she came to me. She demanded an explanation, she was disappointed in my behavior. You must guess what was my reaction. I acted reprehensible towards her, telling her she was only my friend. She ran. I never saw her alive again. Delly took her own life, and for that I have to make amends."

We were both with tears on our faces. I felt tempted to hug him, to give him comfort. Thankfully, I had enough restrain. It would've been cause for a reprimand on my case, and who knows what on Peeta. After a significant time of silence, I knew it was my turn. This time I wasn't able to keep eye contact, for my eyes were looking into my mind's eye for Prim.

"She wanted to be a doctor since she could talk. All she ever wanted was to cure-all the children of the world from diseases. We all loved her so much...My father wanted to show her the sites, and she was so excited. I was supposed to be with them...but I had too many tests to take time off. My mother stayed with me, as she couldn't take time off work. I was jealous of my sister, can you believe that. It used to be me and dad, and now I had to share her with this little adorable creature. They took a train early that morning, it was meant to be a beautiful day...We didn't get to say goodbye. Prim had a future, she wanted to do good. Why did she get punished? What about my dad? He was a good man, who loved his family, took care of us. Did he deserve to die?"

My voice died down, as the sobs took over. It had been a long time since I had broken down like this. It was always bottled down, beneath the surface.

My hands were gripping each other, knuckles white from the effort. It was then another set of hands landed on them, and I stopped my tug of war.

"I don't have answer for that, Katniss. Somethings we will never understand, it's not for us to comprehend. You need to forgive and let yourself heal. I will never forget my friend, but I won't fester in my guilt. I will strive to become a better man, to serve God in the best of my abilities. This is my goal. You need to ask yourself what your father and sister would want you to do with the rest of your life. Do you think they would want you to waste away like your mother? You have a chance to live, to make this a better world. Don't turn your back on the opportunities you've been granted."

:::

It was in my last hearing, where it was declared I was to be released. I had one last thing to do before I faced my freedom.

"Your Honor, I would like to address this court. Mr. Khoury, I'm standing here today a different person. What I did to you was wrong. I was in a dark place back then, full of hate and anger. It doesn't excuse my actions, for you were not to blame. It has taken me time to realize, to learn to accept and forgive. If you have in you to forgive me, I will be forever grateful for your mercy. I have to thank this court for giving me a chance. I would also like to thank Mr. Abernathy, with his faith in me, for his faith in God. He always said to give it time, and the light would shine on me. I never thought it would be so, but it has. It is through Mr. Abernathy that I met a Muslim. He wanted me to face my hate and my prejudice. Mr. Mellark dedicated time to visit me every Saturday, at first. He taught me about your faith, Mr. Khoury. I will never again say a word against a Muslim or anyone because of their religion. The violence I perpetrated against you had no justification, and I'm ashamed of my past actions. It was a dishonor to my family's memory, when I so stupidly thought I was defending them. I pray I don't disappoint any of you. Thank you."

Mr. Khoury simply nodded. It was done.

With it I had declared my new life's path, welcoming faith and God into my life.

:::

**2012**

Other families brought flowers to leave for their loved ones. I had brought one primrose, but I was afraid it looked a bit wilted. I was hesitant and unsure if I could actually see and trace their names without collapsing. This date inevitably brought with it all the pain, the grief and sadness of the loss. Please God give me the strength and the courage to face this, to honor them as they deserve.

I was just steps away from touching their names, but my legs wouldn't budge.

"Take your time, sweetheart. I'm right here with you."

His arms held me, and I had the comfort of his warmth and his particular scent. Peeta Ayyash Mellark was my pillar of strength, knowing what I needed and when to give it.

"It is beautiful...like it was never a place of so much violence and death."

"Do you want to take a seat, we can rest."

Thank you, my Lord. For sending this man to me. You have blessed, even though I wasn't worthy of your mercy. I am grateful, for I have found my way into your path.

"This will certainly be an experience to tell your students. Teach them about the resiliency of the human spirit, how we can rise from the ashes of destruction and hate, to create and be in harmony."

After my experiences inside the walls of the juvenile detention, I decided my path was to help others like me. I wanted to influence others like me, to give them choices and options. I asked for Haymitch, Mr. Abernathy for guidance in my career path in adolescent counseling. He had believed in me, and with his faith he had a successful case with me. He said we had to be patient and kind, to plant the seed of hope and love inside these troubled teenagers. Others played the blame game and casted them to be lost and without redemption. I was proof it was not so, and I made it my life's mission to impact their lives.

"Wouldn't it be wonderful if John Lennon's dream would become a reality? His utopia of living in peace, without discrimination and hate, a world united, is a beautiful dream. I would like to think this is a piece of that vision."

Peeta kissed my forehead.

"I love you, Katniss."

"And I love you, Peeta."

To the outside world, we were a couple in love. And we were, but what they didn't know was how hard it was to get here. A life path's was set to be rocky, but one with different faiths was even harder. But we had persevered, and we were lawfully wedded in the law and in the faith. It would've been easier if I had become Muslim, but I had found my place as reconciled Christian and Peeta respected it. He was so set in marrying me, he would defy and marry me in a courthouse. I stopped him, knowing it would end up affecting him, by defying Allah's laws. An answer to our prayers was found and I was accepted as a Christian, for being People of the Book.

"Do you think our child will grow up in a better world?"

His hand touched my little bump and my hand found his.

"I do hope so. At least his parents are doing everything they can to make it better. Come, I'm ready, with you beside me I can face anything."

Eleven years ago my life was shattered. I lost my family that September 11, 2001. It took doing an injustice to bring me back from a path set to self-destruction. My heart still aches for my family, and I have learned to forgive my mother for giving up. I'm thankful that I have my faith, that I have my husband. We share a future together, one full of promise and blessings. I will miss them, wanting to share my happiness, but they live within me. I keep them alive in my memories, and they live on in my children. This is the legacy, to teach the future generations of love and forgiveness.

My hand traced the inscribed names of my father Hunter Everdeen, and my sister Primrose Everdeen. I could see their faces, smiling and laughing. I could see my mother, as she looked on from the kitchen. It was a brief moment, but I felt like they were alive.

"I love you..."

Peeta embraced me, and I let him comfort me. For the first time I felt like I had released them. I laughed, to Peeta's astonishment.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes...They are free. I won't hold them any longer. Thank you for being here with me. Thank you for being patient, for your perseverance, and most of all your love. If it wasn't for-"

"We don't get to question God's plans. All the more reason to be thankful for His plans."

I had been angry with God. I had cursed and defied Him, turned my back. But somehow, I had found my way back into His love. It was undeniable I had suffered, but my afflictions had brought me back to His light, and unbeknownst to be I had found the love of my life in the most unlikely of places.


End file.
